This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
