we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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