Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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