Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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