bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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