Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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