Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
