But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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