is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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