Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
