It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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