I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
