is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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