Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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