My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Success! We fucked roommates!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
