On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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