I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
