I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I want to fling myself into the sun
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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