I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
