Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
