i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
