that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
