How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
