If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My vagina is very pro this idea
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
