What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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