Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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