He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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