i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
