Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
