drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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