I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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