I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
