I wish I could teleport
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
