glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
