Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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