we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
