my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
