Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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