i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
