That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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