And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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