You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
