just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
