Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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