he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
