I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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