so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
