I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
