i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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