hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
